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"Men feel the need to fix things because they are solution-oriented," says Kirschner."But to a woman, really listening is a wonderful, wonderful thing that deepens the relationship." Listening is important, but she also wants to know that she is being heard. When she pauses, she's giving you a cue to respond in a compassionate, caring way, says Kirschner.Although I was on the football team, I didn’t get to play much.The coach, an ex-NFL lineman, told me I had natural strength and ability but I just couldn’t come out of my shell.It's important to women from the first flirtation through the honeymoon and beyond.

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